Thursday, April 11, 2002

Wednesday, no time for sleeping

My orphan son Ted Rall has a lot to learn about bein' a pirate. Perhaps he'd a' been better as a pilot after all.

Look here.

Ted me boy, for God's sakes, you never tell people what ye really think. Might 's well hand 'em yer sword. Ye gotta bury your message under a mound of poop-facts!

Think of it like feeding pigs. You can fill their bellies with tripe, but if you put any substance in what you say it'll stink by the time it gets to the other end. Stick with feeding styrofoam, and the worst ye'll get can be covered with one of them floral Glade plugins.

Look at this guy, he can say whate'er he wants and never 'fess to it - and nary a scent.

UPDATE: Not a day before the smell starts to rise. Ye gave 'em too much meat Ted, me ugly boy.

Wednesday, April 10, 2002

Tuesday, chumming time

The brigades are a group of West Bank militias affiliated with Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat's al Fatah faction and have been one of the driving forces behind the current Palestinian intifada (uprising). While the group initially vowed to target only Israeli soldiers and settlers in the West Bank and Gaza Strip, in early 2002 it began a spree of terrorist attacks against civilians in Israeli cities. In March 2002, after a deadly Al Aqsa Brigades suicide bombing in Jerusalem, the State Department added the group to the U.S. list of foreign terrorist organizations.

I spied this article while swabbing the deck with it. You may think that there is some difference between Israeli fightin' men and their chimney sweep types like this article does.

Arrr, I take that back, no you may not.
Tuesday, as we're wont to call the day before Wednesday

Colonial News Network trys hard to bury their news treasures today:

A suicide bomber wearing a belt of explosives killed at least eight people and wounded 14 in a blast aboard an Israeli commuter bus near Haifa on Wednesday morning, police said.

But I'll give ye two gold doubloons to find the REAL story hidden there... Go ahead, lay yer head down a while and think.

If ye still don't got it, yer brains been addled by facts. Here's the rub - IT'S STILL TUESDAY! Obviously the Americans are lending a little hand in the time travel department - though o' course they'll deny it.
Tuesday, before mess

In the old days, I could rob any audience o' their sense with a raised eyebrow and a curse for Israel. Now everyone's doing it. Even the damn vikings:

Dagbladet reporter Cato Vogt-Kielland writes that "Tveitt went into the Parliament building dressed in a thin summer jacket with the Star of David on the chest pocket. But after he had talked in the Parliament restaurant with Parliament members from the Progress, Conservative, and Labor parties, he was sought out by two security guards who asked him to come with them 'because they had received reactions' to Tveitt’s flag symbol.

"'I asked who had reacted, and what they had reacted to, but got no answer,' said Tveitt. 'I didn’t think that showing solidarity with Israel would create reactions in Parliament – especially not in Parliament.'"

The two guards escorted him to the wardrobe. After he had hung up his jacket, they followed him back to his table.

As Tveitt points out, "People walk around [in Parliament] with Palestinian scarves and other pro-Palestinian symbols without any reaction."

I lifted this tale from Bruce Bawer, who deserved to lose it - given his lack of scorn for Christian virtue.